What The??????

5 Stages of Dying....Ever heard of it? Good, neither had I. The reason I bring it up is because I was recently told by a two-time finisher of the Leadville 100 that I would be experiencing these 5 stages at least three times during my ride. Pain...sure, Exhaustion...obviously, Lack of air...no question, but 5 stages of dying??? I rushed right home to read exactly what the hell these 5 items were.

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

I sat quietly staring at the monitor, reading each one over and over. It made sense, I could put an example with each one. It didn't scare me, it just reminded me what I was in for on August 13th. It also reminded me of the level of mental toughness that will be required. Will I want to quit?...yes, Will I suffer?...yes, Will I unclip from my bike and have an emotional episode?...absolutely, but I know these things going in, I'm not approaching this ride blind. My mind will be tested as much as my fitness and I'm preparing everyday for that.

Denial
This one makes perfect sense. The same person who told me about the 5 stages also told me I would not be getting a buckle this year, and to focus on next year. What??? Don't want to believe it, I have to have a chance....right?

Anger
This one could come in all shapes and sizes. I could have a mechanical issue, I might have to get off and walk earlier than I would like or I could get 25 miles in and realize my legs aren't having a pleasant day.

Bargaining
This is where crazy starts to take over. You're all alone at 11,500 feet elevation and you're talking to yourself- pleading, making deals with your own body. We've all been there, asking for just one more mile or 30 more minutes.

Depression
This one scares me the most. This is your game changer. Can you fight through the mental breakdown and clear your head? I see only two ways out of this one, quit or kick your mind's ass.

Acceptance
When this stage kicks in, an outcome will be known. No matter what that outcome is, I believe this stage will provide a sense of peace, because to get to stage 5, you have had to battle 1-4, and that is an accomplishment in itself...

Round 1 over...2 two go.

It's been a little while since I posted, training has really ramped up. But I'm back now and I look forward to sharing the trials and tribulations of the next 59 days.

My fitness is the best it has been since I wore tightie whities and as of this morning I was 200lbs. I haven't seen that number in 10 years. I also crossed the '1000 miles ridden' mark since recovering from my surgery. I feel good, physically and mentally.

I want to say thanks to "Dirty Bird" for all your help, it means a lot and I appreciate it immensely.